Bikini bodies + cellulite: a cautionary tale

The other day was our first visit to the town pool.

By all accounts I am a genetically slender, “fit” woman whose appearance happens to fall within the narrow confines of society’s judgement for “acceptable” size + shape.

And yet…

Because I’m a woman..

(and even moreso because I’m a fitness coach + trainer swimming in the added pressure of what that should look like)

… the visit to the pool also becomes an exercise in self-judgement gymnastics.

😵‍💫I’m slender, but shouldn’t my abs be more defined?
😵‍💫 My legs are strong, but will everyone be looking at my cellulite?
😵‍💫 Didn’t my arms look more toned last summer?
😵‍💫 Wasn’t my butt a little less dimpled?

The internalized pressure swirling around simply walking around the damn pool with my kid and have a damn good time is just too much. Too much!

So am I sometimes self conscious?
Yes.

Do I worry about cellulite and a little extra jiggle, even though I rationally know I shouldn’t waste my energy and am a lovely human person?
Yes.

And will I wear the bikini anyway?
Yes.

And will I run after my kid and splash in the pool and let the glaring sun shine down on my cellulite-y hamstrings that also are strong enough to deadlift and swing and do all of the kettlebell things?
Yes, absolutely yes.
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So this is just a long ramble to say to all the women that yes —
No matter our shape or size, our bodies are constantly being scrutinized…

By ourselves.
By other women because that’s what we’ve been taught.
By men because that’s what they’ve been taught.
By the Fitness Industry + Media because they’re the ones doing the teaching (because they’ve got stuff to sell $)

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But please don’t beat yourself up. And don’t refuse to shed your coverup.

Wear the bikini + get in the pool + know we’re all right there with you.